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why not take pictures while young and pretty? (now don’t go thinkin’ “oh man, melissa wants to be a model” haha no no I am most definitely a comedian, but today I felt good!)
"We're all mad here" -alice in wonderland http://t.co/WqICosL90h
Woo! Tonight is my show "Melissa!" at Steve Allen Theater! 8 pm! I am very excited poop butts!
brendonwalsh's stupid set list http://t.co/ZCz11DH83G
Serious Kid: http://t.co/LPkq4ihSLY via @YouTube
5 dollar tickets for my one person show for "Melissa!" here: http://t.co/TF0uoud3Lx Hope to see you there! Thanks booger butts!
I was a very serious kid. I never was in the soak zone at Sea World. I did not want Shamu's pee on me. YOU KNOW HE PISSED IN THERE!
hahah that's awesome! so happy that you can relate :) !
Guy on phone in hotel room next to me: "YOU NEVER COMPLIMENT ME OR MAKE ME FEEL GOOD." Me in my hotel room ---> FART/LAUGH TO MYSELF.